MINDFULNESS IN SPAIN - The Practice of Leaning In

It is wonderful to be back in the mountains of Spain, finishing up my MBSR certification.  The month of December here is surprisingly more green than the end of September, which is when I was here for the first 100 hours of training last year.  Summer and early fall are very dry, but late fall brings rain, and now the mountains are alive with flowers, fruit, and grasses of all shapes and sizes.  Absolutely lovely for my afternoon walk along the paths and up to the neighboring town of Benimaurell.  This area is very agricultural, bursting wtih Valencian oranges, of course, as well as hazelnuts, walnuts, dates, figs, olives, and more.  Much of the land is terraced, and held into place by stone walls that have seen numerous centuries of use.  Quaint.  Quiet.  Perfect for meditation.

Our group is very international.  Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Lots of Brits.  Amsterdam.  Barcelona.  Munich.  Ethiopia.  Switzerland.  and me- the lone representative of the U.S.  Everyone has completed the first 100 hours within the last two years and all are eager to learn more, practice a lot, and teach when they get home.  My roommate is a school counselor in Singapore and has lived there with her family for 10 years.  She teaches at the International School there, where she offers mindfulness classes to students and teachers.  She is originally from Canada and is meeting her family in Frankfurt after the training to head home for the holidays.  Everyone has a similarly interesting story.  Our group has gelled quickly - offering support along the journey, as well as a story and a hug when needed.

Our daily schedule is quite rigorous.  We begin at 7 with an hour of meditation - which is a wonderful treat.  I am so often offering meditation, that to be held by our group and lead by Bodhin and Kathy has been an opening to a new level of awareness.  We wander over to the meditation room under the stars, and by the time we are done, morning has broken, sunny and bright.  Class begins again at 9 and runs until lunch at 2:00 - yes 2:00 PM.  We are on Spanish time here and although we take two breaks for “ wee and tea “ , it always seems a long time until the midday meal.  All morning we are students, running through the classes, playing the role of participant, and then breaking down the lesson plan, piece by piece, asking questions and brainstorming possibilities.  After lunch we have time to prepare, and from 4-8 we are practice teaching in groups of 6 or 7.  Dinner at 8, and bed shortly after.  We all share rooms and bathrooms and meals - so plenty of time to share stories and get to know each other better.  Eleven women, and two brave British men.  I am the only Grandma in the group and all have oohed and ahhhed appropriately over my adorable Emma Rose.  

Today our lesson was “ What is stress?”  and we practiced a meditation called The Four Steps to Awareness Meditation, that I found very powerful.  The intention of this meditation is to invite kindly awareness into the whole of our experience - by bringing attention to  both the unpleasant and pleasant aspects of our moment to moment experience.  As you may have guessed, the meditation has four parts - each divided by a bell.  

The meditation begins by opening up to the Triangle of Awareness - recognizing that Awareness is possible when we take the time to notice -  in the form of Body Sensations, Thoughts, and Emotions.  As the first bell rings, we move into the second part of the meditation, Leaning Into the Unpleasant.  Even though we may know that “resistance is futile”, most of us would rather not linger in the unpleasant.  This spacious meditation encourages us to lean into whatever we may be currently finding difficult, with kindness, curiosity, openness, and compassion.  By softening into discomfort, we recognize its true nature as transient and ever changing.  When we push away the unpleasant, it gets stronger.  By softening into it, we release ourselves from its grip - holding the unpleasant in kindness and returning to the breath if we feel overwhelmed.  I found it much easier to sit with the unpleasant, knowing that the third part of the meditation is Seeking the Pleasant.  Ding.  

As the sound of the bell fades, we release the difficult and become sensitive to the pleasant dimensions of the moment.  The simple pleasure of a warm blanket around the feet, the sound of the birds, the stability of the earth, the memory of my granddaughter walking in the snow, holding my hand.  Remembering the pleasant means releasing attachment to the unpleasant, which can be challenging.  It is often the movement of the  breath - gently rolling in and out - that brings us back to balance.

The fourth part of the meditation broadens our awareness to hold both the unpleasant AND pleasant aspects of the moment, side by side, broadening into a wider perspective that can hold both at the same time.  What mindfulness teachers often call “the bigger container”.  What I love about this meditation, is that it offers a conscious opportunity to deal with stress, pain, illness, and other challenges of life, without dangling us too far over the precipice.  As we lean into the unpleasant, we know that the pleasant will be invited back into our awareness soon.     

I had a good cry today during this meditation today.  Tears don’t always come easily for me - and I found myself filled with gratitude for the release they offered.  The tears were dark and warm.  LIke they had been waiting for me to recognize them, and let them go.  The group held my emotion with great reverence.  No one told me it was going to be okay or tried to soothe me.  They gave me space to find the grace I needed to acknowledge the pain, and remember the bliss right next door.  Not one or the other, but BOTH, AND, in every moment.  

UNCONDITIONAL by Jennifer Paine Welwood

Willing to experience aloneness, I discover connection everywhere;

Turning to face my fear, I meet the warrior who lives within...

Opening to my loss, I gain the embrace of the universe;

Surrendering into emptiness, I find fullness without end.

Each condition I flee from pursues me,

Each condition I welcome transforms me

And becomes itself transformed Into its radiant jewel-like essence.

Yes.  Gratitude and Grace on every step of the journey.  Namaste.

MINDFULNESS TWO

In this continuation of Intro to Mindfulness, we will look more deeply into the nature of thoughts and emotions, and how awareness can help us choose to respond to them in ways that reduce stress and open us to more choices and opportunities.  We will also explore the practices of kindness and compassion – key elements on the journey of Mindfulness.

Intro to Mindfulness Meditation is a prerequisite for this series, however it is important to remember that meditation is not a linear journey.  The basic practices that were introduced in the Intro class set the foundation for the concepts we will address in MINDFULNESS TWO. 

If you haven’t been practicing lately, it’s the perfect opportunity to get back on the cushion.  If you’ve been practicing a lot on your own, this series offers you the opportunity to practice in community and benefit from our shared experience. 

COST:  $75 FOR ALL 3 SESSIONS.  No individual sessions.

Classes will need a minimum of 8 to run. 

SESSION ONE:  RIDING THE WAVE OF EMOTION – REVISITING THE FEEDBACK LOOP.

SESSION TWO:  THOUGHT PATTERNS AND AUTOMATIC PILOT

SESSION THREE:  CULTIVATING KINDNESS AND COMPASSION

INVIVO WELLNESS: FRIDAYS 4:00 – 5:15 PM NOVEMBER 6, 13 AND 20.

HALEYBIRD STUDIOS:  MONDAYS 12:00 – 1:15 PM.  NOVEMBER 2, 9, AND 16

Instructor:  Tina has over 1000 hours of training in Yoga and Meditation and is currently working with the Mindful Academy in Alicante, Spain to complete a 200 hour certification in MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction).  She is a long time meditator and has taught courses in both English and Spanish. Her approach combines education and practice, empowering students to make positive changes in their lives by cultivating awareness  of their thoughts and feelings, with kindness and patience.  

MINDFUL WALKING by Tina Languedoc Romenesko, PYT (500) and Mindfulness Teacher

When I learned that I would be teaching Mindful Walking at our next training, my heart sank.  I have never been a big fan of Mindful Walking.  It feels too scripted and fake.  Probably not a very open, non-judgmental viewpoint, but even Mindfulness Teachers have preferences. 

The image I associated with Mindful Walking came from a trip to Marin County back in 2007.  I was at Spirit Rock Meditation Center and saw a large group of middle-aged women walking aimlessly around the grounds, looking like soulless corpses said to be revived by witchcraft - the Oxford Dictionary definition of Zombie.  The dictionary entry continues with this:  A person who is or appears lifeless, apathetic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings. Doesn’t sound very mindful to me.  Or one bit fun.

But that was my assignment, so time to look a bit deeper.  The simplest definition I could find of Mindful Walking was: 

Walking and knowing that you are walking. 

It seems obvious, but the truth is that most of us walk in Automatic Pilot, absorbed in our thoughts and barely paying any attention to the walking itself.  Automatic Pilot is actually a wonderful skill that only human brains can accomplish.  Auto Pilot extends our working memory so we can concentrate on a small number of things at once by creating habits of doing that allow us to drive a car without thinking about every integral aspect of driving a car.  The problem comes when we become driven by our habits and miss what is actually going on.  One habitual action leads to another and another and eventually it extends to our thoughts and feelings. 

Grandma's little sweetheart.

So…...  Walking and knowing that you are walking.  I still wasn’t convinced.  The week before the training, I had volunteered to spend 9 days with my granddaughter, Emma Rose, while her parents were on a trip to Greece with my daughter-in-law’s family.  It was a great opportunity for them to get away, so I happily took the time off from teaching and clients to bond with my little sweetheart.  Emma is 16 months old and obsessed with extending her working memory so she can learn to walk without thinking about walking.  At this point, she can only walk if she holds your finger.  She’s little, so the walking is slow, and usually back and forth if we are outside, or in a circle if we are in the house.  I’m a tall Grandma, so I’m stooped over so she can reach my finger, and even though I love her more than any other human on the planet, I got really bored with the pace and repetition.  But then I remembered my assignment for the following week.  What an opportunity to practice Mindful Walking!  So we did. 

The first step was getting out of THINKING MODE and into SENSING MODE, which meant that instead of thinking about what else I could be getting done or how bored I was with the 3 driveways we were walking between, I opened up to the sensual world around me.  The sound of the birds, the scent of the flowers, the taste of the wind.  But sensations aren’t always pleasant, so I also noticed the litter, the police sirens, the weeds.  And I must admit it was amazing what I noticed.  I wasn’t being lifeless, apathetic or completely unresponsive to my surroundings.  I was noticing them in a way I hadn’t been noticing them – and it wasn’t boring or frustrating at all.  Even the weeds were more interesting than being bored and frustrated.

Another aspect of Mindful Walking is getting out of DOING MODE and into BEING MODE.  In Doing Mode we are walking to get from A to B.  From the car to the door.  The door to the stairs.  Up the stairs to the office.  Walking to get somewhere. Being Mode is more nourishing, more present, and more accepting of whatever shows up, whether its pleasant or unpleasant, boring or stimulating.  In Being Mode, I opened my awareness and realized that very soon Ms. Emma Rose is NOT going to need my finger to walk.  In fact I’ll probably tell her to hold my hand before we cross the street and she won’t want to.  So even though I had already seen the weeds and noticed the blue sky, it was the relationship I brought to the experience that really mattered.  Appreciation goes a long way on the road to Mindfulness. 

OK.  So the truth is that I was sporadically mindful that week.  I still got frustrated and a little bit bored, and I also noticed when I did.  There were also times when we were walking and I was so full of love I almost burst.  We were close that week in a way we never will be again.  She’s coming again next weekend and it will be different.  She’ll be a little more independent and maybe her fascination with Grover will have been replaced by Baby Stella….  That’s the thing.  Each moment is amazing and precious if we can just wake up and notice it.  Frustrated?  Bored?  That’s being mindful too, because until you notice it, you’re on Auto Pilot. 

Mindful Walking.  Turns out I’m a big fan.  I just didn’t know it until I woke up and noticed. 

Emma practicing walking with her friends Henry and Ben.

WHY MINDFULNESS? by Tina Langdok Romenesko, PYT (500)

In a recent article in the New York Times, Mark Bertolini, the chief executive of Aetna, was  interviewed for his unconventional decision to offer yoga and meditation classes to the 50,000 employees at the Aetna home office in Hartford Connecticut.  So, what happened? 

More than one-quarter of the company’s work force has participated in at least one class, and those who have report, on average, a 28 percent reduction in their stress levels, a 20 percent improvement in sleep quality and a 19 percent reduction in pain. They also have become more effective on the job, gaining an average of 62 minutes per week of productivity each, which Aetna estimates is worth $3,000 per employee per year. Demand for the programs continues to rise; every class is overbooked.” (Read the full article here:  http://nyti.ms/18uXD0W)

Pretty impressive for corporate America.  According to the article, Bertolini’s change of heart in how to run his Fortune 100 company came after a near death experience changed the way he looked at his own life, and the lives of his employees.  While it is often a crisis that brings us to the mat or the cushion, it doesn’t have to be anything quite that dramatic.  Mindfulness is everywhere – in fact one writer coined the term “McMindfulness”, warning that the word is often overused and misinterpreted. 

So why Mindfulness?  Why is it so popular? What exactly is Mindfulness and what isn’t it? 

In the same article, Bertolini said, . “Meditation is not about thinking about nothing,” he said. “It’s about accepting what you think, giving reverence to it and letting it go. It’s losing the attachment to it. Same thing with pain.”

That’s a very true and pretty big statement.  Meditation isn’t emptying the mind.  It doesn’t make you into a zombie, or even make you more chill, relaxed, or blissed out.  It might, but that’s a side effect, not a goal.  In fact there are no goals in Mindfulness.  That’s the point.  As soon as you’re trying to feel some thing, pleasant or unpleasant, you just missed the point and jumped from being to doing.

Mindfulness is not an escape from the pain in your body, or your life.  It’s not even necessarily relaxing.  Sometimes being mindful is very uncomfortable, because what’s going on in your life (or in your body)  may not be very pleasant – and it might just be down right horrible.  Mindfulness is leaning into that discomfort, getting to know it, and instead of beating your head against the wall wishing it were different, you accept it, take a long look at it, and just maybe see another way to deal with it without becoming a victim, being mad, or reaching for a nice big shot of Jack Daniels. 

Mindfulness does have its roots in Buddhist Practice, but it isn’t religious.  A true Mindfulness Practice is secular.  It doesn’t have any dogma, rules, or belief systems you need to buy in to.  Any one can practice it – even an atheist.  It won’t get you into heaven, but it may get you out of your own hell. 

One of the big buzz words in neuro-science these days is neuroplasticity, or the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life.   At the ripe age of 57, I find this to be very good news.  However, the fact is that many of our brains are programmed with a negative bias – meaning that we spend far more time thinking negative thoughts than positive ones.  We are stuck in loops that are based on limiting beliefs like “I’m not good enough, (thin enough, smart enough…) Everybody’s out to get me, I’ll never feel any better…. .”  These sticky thoughts are simply not true, but our mind is so used to them, and the pathway is so well worn, that we don’t even recognize them any more……. until we sit mindfully and are brave enough to listen to the unkind things we say to ourselves, that we would never say out loud, to any one else.  Period. 

That’s why being mindful is so radical.  It’s the ultimate rebellion.  It’s revolutionary.  And the biggest evolutionary challenge of modern man.  We do have a choice.  We can continue to run the same old dialog, over and over again.  Eventually things will change, and life will go on, and we’ll probably make the same mistake all over again.   Or…..  we can step up to the plate and say “Hello Thought.  Good bye Thought.”  We can take the time to notice what we think and how we think – about ourselves and about the world – and CHOOSE which thoughts stick around and which ones we are ready to let go of.  We can choose which neural pathways we’d like to develop, nurture, and cultivate and which pathways we are ready to abandon to the weed garden of the past. 

Mindfulness is not for the faint of heart.  It’s not easy and it does take practice.  Daily Practice with a well-trained teacher.  Neural pathways don’t grow over night.  They need attention, care, and repetition.  And if you’re into beating yourself up about your old worn out thoughts, forget about it, because the Mindful Path is all about kindness, compassion, and an abundance of patience – and all of that happens much more easily when you sit in a group. 

And although its called MINDfulness, its not only about the mind. It’s about the body and creating a relationship with it.  Most of us walk around without giving our body much thought.  It’s not really our fault.  When scientists started dissecting bodies during the Renaissance to figure out how they worked, they divided the body and the mind into separate territories.  The mind was relegated to the spiritual world of the soul, and the body was dedicated to science.  The mind could think ABOUT the body, but was definitely a separate entity. 

That’s why embodiment is one of the first practices in Mindfulness.  Reuniting the body and the mind.  The mind and the heart.  Remembering how it feels to be sensual – which means smelling, tasting, seeing, feeling, and hearing - those 5 skills that our bodies have always known how to do - even though we’ve allowed our 6^th sense, thinking, to take over.  When we get back into sensing mode, we realize how much we miss when we spend all of our time in the mind.  We miss the smell of toothpaste, the feeling of the brush on our teeth, the sight of sparkly clean enamel, the great taste in our mouth when its clean and minty fresh…………  Choosing to act mindfully brings us back into the world, eyes wide open, with child like wonder and presence.

In addition to offering yoga and meditation classes at Aetna, Mr. Bertolini has also given his lowest-paid employees a 33 percent raise.  “Mindfulness has made me question what I do and how I look at the world.”  He is positive that the credit for his compassionate business decisions came from meditation – not because he’s trying to be a nicer guy, but because his brain has changed and he “knows” that it’s the right thing to do. 

Right here in Wisconsin, The Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the UW-Wisconsin has been studying the effect of meditation on compassion.   Founder, Dr. Richard Davidson, found heightened electrical activity in brain areas associated with attention and emotion in his study group meditators.   He also noted a spike in activity in the left prefrontal cortex—a brain region associated with emotions like altruism and compassion.  The study also supported the idea that activities such as meditation might help to essentially “re-wire” a brain over time to elicit positive feelings more often than negative ones.

Beginning later this spring, I will be offering a 3 pack of classes at INVIVO Wellness (Milwaukee) and Haleybird Studios (Wauwatosa) entitled Introduction to Mindfulness.  Each class will focus on one aspect of Mindfulness:  Embodiment.  Focus.  Awareness of Thoughts.  These classes are intended to be a starting point for developing a Mindfulness practice and will include education, technique, and guided practice.

Reflective practice allows us to see around the corners of our minds, where its often a little murky and smelly and raw.  Mindfulness takes time, repetition, patience and compassion. So “Why Mindfulness?”  Why not?  You certainly have nothing to lose, except your negative bias on life.